One night I was going out for dinner with my friends from work. Let me just tell you that a night out is a rare event, so I was pretty excited to be going out for dinner, out with friends, out for a drink, just out of the house! I had told Valentino on a few separate occasions leading up to it that I had a dinner date with my friends on this particular Thursday and that I would be home late. I have come to accept that he often doesn't pay attention when I'm informing him of events in the future, regardless of their level of importance. Actually that is not true at all. I have come to recognize but not accept it. Or at least not at that point. One could say I was in denial about it.
So the Thursday of the dinner party arrived. In the morning, Valentino and I were driving Mr-J to daycare and I was reminding him that he was on pick-up duty that night. I also informed him that dinner was in the fridge and that "Samantha" would be driving me home. "Ya ya ya!" he said in a voice that reminded me a lot of my mother saying "You talk for nothing." "Okay then," I thought, "you know what's going on."
No, I'm fairly transparent aren't I? Of course I did not think this. I thought that it was quite possible he was not paying attention and may not remember I was going out. What I did know is that I had entered this soiree on the Google calendar which he insisted I use - so he could access the information there. I also thought, given that he rarely picks up, that I never leave dinner in the fridge or get a ride home, that he should be able to put it together.
Now, I should say, the remaining course of events was somewhat unintended. I was particularly busy that day at work and decided to shut my cell phone off so that I wouldn't be disturbed. I figured that Valentino had my work number if he needed to get a hold of me.
In my excitement about the evening, I forgot to turn my cell phone back on when we left work. Here I will admit some culpability - I was kind of surprised that Valentino hadn't phoned to let me know that things went smoothly, to see what time I would be home, to touch base. I should have called him to touch base, but part of me just wanted to see if he had listened to me at some point. If he knew what I was doing and was deliberately giving me a break. So I ignored that little voice in my head. I enjoyed the silence. I enjoyed being out and not having to worry about anyone else for a moment. I feel bad admitting that, and I suppose there are more upfront and responsible ways to arrange for this situation, but on this particularly evening I just chose to leave my cell phone in my purse.
At around 9:30 pm we left the restaurant to go home. As we were walking out my friend "Carrie" was checking her voice mail and shockingly there was one from Valentino asking me to call home. I say shockingly because no one knows Carrie's number, she just doesn't give it out. At this point I developed a lump in my throat. I also thought to myself "one night, I can't have one night?" I called Valentino.
"Where are you?" he asked.
"I'm out for dinner with friends like I said I would be."
"You never said that."
Hmm. Well, not today, not explicitly.
"Well I have to call the police back now." he said.
"Police?"
"Yes, I filed a missing person's report. I have to go."
Oh. Well. Shit. Now this is embarrassing. On the one night I go out I somehow have created a situation where my husband has called the police to find me. I did not anticipate this consequence. Is there a hole in the sand I can put my head in somewhere?
Samantha dropped me off at home and I hesitated to go in but finally just bit the bullet. Valentino looked at me initially with anger but then mild laughter and then asked "What the HELL ALICE?"
Then he explained to me that prior to calling the police he had called my cell phone and it (of course) went straight to voice mail. He called me at work (where he assumed I was) and there was no answer. He called many of my colleagues at work and left messages (which they would hear in the morning), talked to another friend at work (from whom he got Samantha's and Carrie's numbers). What made him worry was that when he called Samantha's cell phone (he did remember that I was supposed to get a ride home with her) it also went straight to voice mail. He concluded from this that we had been in a car accident and then called the police to see if there were any recent accidents in the area. There were none. He then called our friends on the other side of the country to get advice, and walked half a mile with Mr-J to the subway station and back, in the snow, at 8 pm (past Mr-J's bedtime) to see if I had chosen to take the subway home instead and maybe passed out along the path home (the night before he had seen a woman lying in the snow who needed an ambulance and so this was on his mind).
I couldn't believe he was telling me all this. I mean did he really need to go to this extent to make me feel guilty for leaving my cell phone off? The last bit about taking Mr-J out in the snow seemed a little irresponsible on his part.
No. I am joking, okay? I do realize I was in the wrong here. Kind of shocking just how wrong. (Except for the not listening - can I at least have that? Is someone keeping score here?)
On the positive we now have the running voice mail joke "Why aren't you picking up? I'm going to call the police."
Oh my god - now THAT is a great story. I admit that 'Valentino's' search effort both relieved and mortified me. Valentino and I volunteer for cop-calling duty! I highly recommend us :)
Posted by: Alice | 08/01/2009 at 01:05 PM
You are pretty prolific on this blog. Another good one! But I have to disagree with you feeling too bad, after all, leaving your phone off by mistake is an honest mistake. I accidentally angered many of my friends and family once when I first got my iPhone, accidentally hit the mute button, and didn't actually learn where the (un) mute button was for about 2 months.
But the nice thing is you have someone to call the police for you if you disappear unexpectedly. Most likely , if I disappeared, no one would notice until the decomp set in, CSI style. I had a friend in Seattle who I put on cop-calling duty should I not show up when/where I was meant to show up, but I have not yet assigned anyone here to that duty. I would ask you, but you don't see me often enough to know when I'm here or dead. I could ask a work friend, but they already think I'm crazy.
Posted by: V | 07/31/2009 at 09:09 PM